Ivanov
By Anton ChekhovIvanov seems to be going through a remarkable change in his life, similar to a modern-day midlife crisis: he is depressed all of the time, and has begun to treat those around him with endless disdain. He is especially cruel to his wife, Anna, who is gravely ill. He tries to explain his recent transformation to a friend, Lvov.
IVANOV:
I suppose I am dreadfully guilty, but my thoughts are muddled, my soul is in the grip of a kind of apathy, and I am no longer able to understand myself. I don't understand myself or other people...
I should like to tell you everything from the beginning, but it's a long story, and such a complicated one that if I talked till morning I couldn't finish it...
Anna is a remarkable, an extraordinary woman... She changed her religion for my sake, left her father and mother, gave up wealth, and if I had asked her for a hundred more sacrifices, she would have made them without batting an eye. But, you see, I am in no way remarkable, and I have sacrificed nothing. However, that's a long story... The whole point is that... to put it briefly, I was passionately in love with her when I married, and swore that I would love her forever, but... Five years have passed, she still loves me, but I... Here you tell me that she is going to die soon, and I feel neither love nor pity, but only a sort of emptiness and lassitude. To anyone looking at me this must seem appalling; I myself don't understand what is happening within my soul...
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