Thanksgiving in the Wilderness

By Kellie Powell

Rita attacks a guy who, in her opinion, has treated her best friend, Emily very badly.


You know what, jack-ass? The world is full of guys like you - sarcastic guys who spend all their time cleverly pointing out the shortcomings of others, rolling their eyes, shaking their heads, passing judgment and cracking jokes. You're not unique. You're just one more pretentious bastard. I've had enough of guys like you, you supposedly "damaged" guys who don't "believe" in monogamy anymore, who want to just sleep around, who announce ahead of time that they're not interested in being someone's boyfriend. You think this honesty makes you a decent person, but at the end of the day, you're still taking advantage of women who, for whatever reason, don't know that they deserve better.

Emily is an amazing woman! She is beautiful and smart and funny, and if you think you can find another girl like her, you can't. She is one of a kind, and any guy would be lucky to have her. And you treated her like an underaged Staind groupie at last call!

Okay, fuck this shit. I give up. Let's go home.

This monologue is from the one-act play Thanksgiving in the Wilderness by Kellie Powell. If you would like to read the entire play, you can purchase an electronic copy of the script for $7.00.
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