Eastern Standard
By Richard GreenbergStephen, a Manhattan architect, describes his suicide attempt to a friend over lunch.
STEPHEN
I was lying in bed - in the middle of the night - wide awake, as usual - and I went to the bathroom for my usual pill. And when I reached for the bottle, I realized that I was physically capable of swallowing all of its contents. Which was interesting.
And then I thought, no, of course I'll never do it - it's too abnormal. But then I thought - what's stopping me? Nothing. Which was also interesting. And then I did it. Which was fascinating. And I went back to bed, and I just lay there, waiting for the effects to start. And I realized that if I didn't do anything to reverse my actions, I would die. Which was amazingly interesting.
And then all of a sudden, it came to me - this revelation - this flash of insight - this profound understanding - I can't kill myself, what would my parents think? And I stuck my finger down my throat.
I'm thirty and I still have parents. If that isn't an admission of failure, I don't know what is...
Order Eastern Standard from Amazon.
This monologue brought to you by The Monologue Database.