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Friday, July 20, 2001 @ 2:49 PM


My day just got worse after that. The kids I watch weren't very well behaved... Andrew threw a dollhouse down the stairs at me, and McKayla kept throwing her food on the floor... I went to Eric's when I was done, and the movie we watched (Keeping the Faith one-half star) was longer than we thought, so I was already late getting home when I left, but then I actually (please don't laugh, it's too pathetic to be funny) got lost trying to get back to my house. I turned around in someone's driveway on Beech Street and hit a car. I left a note, of course, and this morning he called. The estimate was over 1,100 dollars, so we had to take it to our insurance... which means our rates are going to go up... My mom is being pretty nice about it, but seriously, it's so frustrating. I cannot and should not drive!

Plus, rehearsal had to be cancelled tomorrow because Rob told me last-minute that he had some kind of appointment at U-High, plus he had to supervise the orientation of two new cats. Needless to say, this made me kind of psychotic. I finally got to a point where I had resolved to give Rob a fair amount of shit and then forget about it, but when I called him and said, jokingly - or so I thought - "Think you could go to the trouble of attending rehearsal today?" he sounded ready to strangle me when he said, "Actually, Kellie, I was planning on it." Sigh... Between Nate never wanting to act again after Blue? and now this, I wonder if mabye I'm too bitchy to make it as a director. Maybe I ask for too much... It's just that No Exit... it's Sartre's great masterpiece, and I was so excited about making it my own, about bringing it to life... And my lead actor can't move an appointment he has the rest of the summer to worry about and stick his cats in the laundry room for a couple hours... I mean, I'm just wondering whether this is the first or the last time that this production falls last on his list of priorities. It's frightening. I'm just so fucking stressed right now! ...And I keep feeling like I want to go home... Even though... I sort of am.

I'm not going to stress anymore right now. I am going to download skins for the Sims, and be merry.


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