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Saturday, December 01, 2001 @ 1:58 PM
Guess what today is? World AIDS Day. A few weeks ago, I signed up with Link and Think and agreed to talk about the influence of AIDS on my life.
I was supposed to work in the AIDS Day booth at school on Thursday, but unfortunately by Thursday morning my cold had turned into what I now suspect may be mono, and I was unable to get out of bed because every time I would move, someone would stick a screwdriver in my skull. Not to mention my glands are so swollen that I can barely swallow, and my voice sounds kind of like a toad. I realize that my sickness is nothing compared to the plague that is HIV, but it seemed worth mentioning.
AIDS has never really affected me personally, the way that say... lung cancer... has. I have never known anyone with AIDS, I've never known anyone who died from it. But it does have a presence in my life, if nothing else, through art. Rent deals extensively with HIV, so does Angels in America. So right there, you've got two pieces of American theatre dedicated to the courage of those who are suffering. Then you've got Philadelphia and Jeffrey - two movies that approach AIDS from two very different points of view. And something that's always plagued my mind - how sometimes it seems as though homosexuality and AIDS are inextricably linked, how that fallacy that is dangerous for our society to maintain.
My "generation," if you will, got the AIDS talks early. As early as fifth grade I think we had the health experts telling us, "No, you can't get AIDS from misquitoes, there are three ways: sharing of sex fluids, blood, or needles." It never seemed like something that I could possibly get. Honestly, it still doesn't. I didn't when I was in fourth grade, and I don't now, plan to try heroin or casual sex with strangers. Also, as the person who can't stand the sight of blood, it seems unlikely that I'm going to contract it through trying to help someone who's wounded. Does the disease have me scared? I will probably demand a blood test from every guy I have sex with - so that's a big yes.
I'd like to see everyone post any thoughts they have. I need to cough up some more phlegm, then crawl under the heating blanket and pass out. Hope I see you Monday!
Will I lose my dignity? Will someone care? Will I wake tomorrow from this nightmare?

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