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Sunday, August 25, 2002 @ 7:06 PM

Saturday and Sunday were very dull. I spent a lot of time sleeping, studying, and writing poems. Steve got my printer working. I'm going to be spending some time updating the website tonight, and maybe I'll get to watch Adult Swim with Dan if he's around. Nate's (supposedly) coming to visit me tomorrow, around 3:45.

Steve read the entire novel. Supposedly, once he started, he couldn't stop. He agrees with me that I'm going to have a lot of fun explaining to the people who know me what happened and what I made up. When I change the names, he wants to be called Chris. Does anyone else have any requests? Everyone gets to be their middle name (except Dan who's Kevin), unless they tell me something different... so this is your chance.

I'm posting a poem. I'm not sure it has any literary merit, but it's something I feel like sharing. You certainly don't have to read it if you don't want to.

"Clashing Paradigms"

You need to be needed, but I already feel complete,
You kneel before me, and I stand uncertain on my feet
I was happy with myself until you made me feel ashamed,
I am thrilled with who I am – but you want me to change

It’s not my fault I found solace in your flesh,
It’s not your fault our manifestos don’t mesh,
It’s not my fault I let things go so far,
It’s not your fault you are the way you are.

You want to be the missing piece, but I'm already whole,
You want me to live for you, but I won’t play the role,
You want to move me, but I am happy right here,
I’m sad and I’m angry, but now everything is clear.

It’s not your fault you want someone to adore,
It’s not my fault I don't want adoration anymore,
It’s not your fault you’re in a different place,
It’s not my fault I’d rather have my space,
It’s not my fault I let things go so far,
It’s not your fault you are the way you are.


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