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Thursday, August 29, 2002 @ 10:28 AM
So, I went to the PRIDE meeting, and I had fun, but I keep having second thoughts about playing an active part of the group. The thing is, I constantly question whether or not I really belong there. "Allied" or not, PRIDE isn't really meant for people like me. The only reason I went to things like Open Door in high school was to be supportive of Dan, but he has plenty of friends of His Own Kind to support him at PRIDE meetings. I can support him at other times besides Wednesday nights.
I stopped by Colin's room and he was working on homework, but he said he'd stop by Movie Night when he was done. Then I went to Theresa's, where we watched Super Troopers, and laughed hysterically. Such a horrible movie, and so funny... A good time was had by one and all. "Oh, shit, I got you good, fucker!" Colin never showed up.
After realizing that Karissa wasn't coming home last night, I went to Colin's, with the resolution that I would say hello if his door was open, but I'd just go away if it was closed, rather than risk waking up him or his roommate. But the door was open a crack and the lights were on, so I knocked, and heard, "Come in."
Colin was in his boxers, printing his homework. I said hello to his roommate. Colin asked if the movie was over, and I told him it was, and he told me to sit down, and I did. And he sat down, and picked up his guitar, which is named Woody, and started playing the beginnings of songs and making weird faces. There was some light flirting, we examined each other's artist callouses. But then things really took a turn for the worst. Playing his guitar in his boxers, making faces at me, mocking my Townie status... He suddenly reminded me of Seth way, way too much. I left before one a.m., went home, and went to sleep. I don't think I'll be dropping by Colin's again. If he asks me out, I'm not going to say no, but I'm not going to get on the same roller coaster I just got sick from.
My roommate just asked me, "Kellie, have you ever really liked a guy but not wanted to make a commitment to him because you knew you would cheat on him?"
"No," I said. I have never cheated on anyone. I've never wanted to. I'm a good person. Why am I alone, then, unless I'm meant to be that way?
< / whining >
I can't decide what to do about this weekend. I could stay in the dorms and party, or I could go home and sleep and mope. I would like to get together with the U-High kids. I'd really love to have a sleep over in Atkin 871. Does that interest anyone?? I'll probably make phone calls later today. =)
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