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Wednesday, August 07, 2002 @ 10:13 AM
There are things going on right now that make me want to become a hermit.
This really has been the Summer of Miscommunication, the Summer of Phone Tag. But it's going to be all right, all I have to do is be bigger than the Issues that are closing in on me.
I haven't talked to Josh yet - and I will - but at this point, there's nothing he could say. Right now, it looks like I'm not going to have to worry about resuscitating my dream. Instead, I'm going to be starting from scratch. It looks like I poured myself for three years into a company that was never really mine to care about. So I'm starting over. That's probably for the best. Does anyone have any suggestions for a name?
And, it looks like I couldn't write a novel in a month. I still have twelve chapters (out of sixty) to go. I really want to get finished before I move into the dorms... I'm committed to this project, to these characters... I like where the story is going, and it's going to get there...
And maybe I will lose a friend or two this summer, a friend or two this fall... Sometimes I think that every time I lose someone, I get a piece of myself back. That doesn't make it hurt any less... just one of the ways in which cynicism is beginning to fail me. But when something fails you, you mold it into something new. So, once again, values are shifting. Alliances are being broken by betrayal and apathy. As always, truth is elusive, subjective... incomplete.
I'm not trying to be deliberately cryptic, but I want to give people at least an idea of what's going on in my mind, and I can't be more specific b/c there are just some things you don't discuss on the Internet.
::smiles at the irony, goes back to work::
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