Call me KP
facebook
last.fm
goodreads
flickr
del.icio.us
Favorite Books
Favorite Music
Favorite Movies
CURRENTLY
FEELING...
READING...
He's a Stud, She's a Slut,
and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know
by Jessica Valenti
WRITING...
Book & Music Reviews
LISTENING...
Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist
WATCHING...
The Tick
PLAYING...
Spore
SURFING...
Six-Word Memoirs
WANTING...
Christmas Presents
Wednesday, July 02, 2003 @ 3:22 PM
I Am Beyond Help
The final night of auditions was last night. Some people (Seth, Lauren, etc.) hung around to wait on Justin Irvin's by-appointment audition, and for me to make my charts and flip coins (J/K) and make the cast list. I told them I wanted them to go home and wait, and check the website. Because I'm tired of delivering bad news to people. One of the people I turned down for Schoolgirls cried over the phone, and someone I turned down for Texas cried in my kitchen. I pretty much can't handle being the cause of anyone's pain.
So, I related this to Seth, Justin, Lauren, etc., and Seth came up with a brilliant plan. He was going to leave the apartment, come back, knock on the door, I would tell him, "I'm sorry, you're not in the cast." And he would cry. And I would smack him upside the head.
He went outside. He came back. He knocked. I opened the door. He looked at me expectantly, hopefully. I told him, "I'm really, really sorry. It's nothing person and you gave a great audition, but we had to go another way." And he started to cry. I knew it was fake, but I still started to cry.
I never did smack him.
I am so pathetic. I can't even stand to be the cause of anyone's pretend pain.
Everyone mocked me, I'm sure, in my absence, as they read the cast list. I am known as "Aneurysm Kellie" these days. I would blame Katie Karl, but I know it's my own fault. On some level, I know that this project of mine really doesn't mean nearly as much to the people who tried out as it does to me. But, I have this idea in my head that the people I didn't cast in this show won't ever bother to audition for anything else. Of course... the incredibly obvious solution to this is... if they're so easilly discouraged, theatre isn't the place for them, anyway.
Eleven people tried out, and I had to turn down two males and three females. Only one of those people was I comfortable cutting. I desperately wanted ten of the people in the show. I feel horrible about the other four. But, I know that no matter how bad I feel about not casting them, I would feel even worse if I cast them for the wrong reasons (such as preventing them from hating me, or feeling bad about themselves, etc.)
And... I am unbelievably thrilled to be starting this process. This is the show I fund-raised for, the script I have been worshipping and the production I've been looking forward to for over a year. A show I have read over and over again, and am incapable of growing tired of. The age range of my cast members is 16-21. Four of my cast members have not appeared in a show in over a year, thusly, Three Days is "the long-awaited return of..." four people. Somehow, that makes me feel like I'm giving people an opportunity they wouldn't have otherwise.
I can't focus on the people I turned away.
archives / / blogger
Content & Design (c) 2000-2008 KP
LINKS
moonshine
no escape
no cars
erin
feministing
feminism 101
safer
sea monsters
penny arcade
ctrl+alt+del
xkcd
achewood
mac hall
softer world
5ives.com
overheard
pa notes
FUNDRAISING
AcaDemon
My Essays
Alibris
Shutterfly
Blue Dolphin
Overstock
Apple iTunes
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home