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Tuesday, July 15, 2003 @ 11:47 PM
Too Appropriate
Long story short, Donnelle and R.J. are visiting from out of town, but I'm the only one here with them. Dan's at CyberCamp and Steph (or as R.J. calls her, Stef) has moved home temporarilly (to escape, and I'm not making this up, the "toxic mold" resulting from the flood we got last week). I was telling Donnelle a bunch of stuff about myself, ranting and disclosing secrets, and I guess I reminded her of a Liz Phair song, which she played for me, which you should all download to get the real inside-scoop about me (or, well, me and relationships.) It's called "Fuck & Run."
I also had some quality Nietzche with Seth the other night, and was blown away by my latest ridiculously obvious epiphany: A need or want is not a failing, not a flaw, not a fault. A little vulnerability is... human.
Meanwhile in Jerusalem, the show is going so well. Every time Ned says, "I don't waste words, I can't afford to..." my heart leaps into my chest and I know I'm doing the right thing devoting my life to theatre.
I was talking to Donnelle, and I told her how on some level, I can't wait to leave, and start this new phase of my life, and she said, "Don't say that. I don't want you to leave me." And I said, "You left somewhere, once, too." It was a great moment, because after I said that, she started to see everything backwards through it. She got it. Stress is on the high these days, but life seems, for the moment, incredibly worthwhile, and even though there's no good way to say goodbye to anyone, I think I've figured out graceful ways of saying, "Maybe someday?"
Congratulations to Michelle. She knows why. Hallmark doesn't make a card for this occasion, but they should.
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