Today I got up before noon to go on a free field trip to Woodbury Commons Mall. I went on this little journey alone, and got a lot of reading done for class and I bought some cool stuff. New headphones, a couple of shirts from Delias, and five new books (which is really just excessive considering how little free time I'll have soon).
For some reason, I felt particularly lonely on the bus tonight. It made me figure out a new example of The Razor Paradigm at work.
Allow me to explain. The Razor Paradigm was first described by the wisest person over 40 who I've ever known personally - my mother. She said, "Isn't it weird how when you knick yourself shaving, it doesn't really hurt? But when you image cutting yourself with a razor, you kinda wince? The imagined event hurts more than the real one..."
I applied this to my feelings of being single soon after. You see, on any given day of the week, I would rather be single than in a relationship. And yet, if the thought crosses my mind that I might be single for the rest of my life, I immediately feel depressed and lonely. The imagined loneliness hurts more than the actual loneliness.
Well... Today I realized another really interesting application of this paradigm. I miss my friends in Normal. I miss my moms. I even miss my idiot, delinquent brother. I miss at least one person at least once every single day. But it's nothing I can't cope with, and I'm still really happy here.
But today... on the bus... I thought... My God, how am I going to make it to December? And, for a second, it seemed completely unsurvivable.
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