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Autobiography of a Pre-Teen Drama Queen
Sunday, January 30, 2005 @ 8:05 PM
My mom found my fourth-grade autobiography and my 7th-grade health class project and showed them to me tonight. My God, I was a strange person back then. I took myself REALLY seriously. And I was PRETENTIOUS! And apparently, one of my life goals was to be a "fashion clothes designer." What the fuck??? At least I didn't make any spelling mistakes (except for spelling it "kidnergarden").
What was particularly amusing was the health class project, because we had to predict future life events. I married myself off to a fictional guy named "Josh Taylor" and spawned a daughter I named Christina. My daughter married Kat's son, and they had a grandson named Ricky (we planned it that way, 'cause we were dorks.)
Here's the mean part: I had my brother get into a car accident and end up in a coma, then miraculously make a full recovery, and then get ARRESTED and sent to jail for several felonies! On the back page, I drew a family tree. Next to my mom's name, I drew a lightbulb. Next to my name, I drew books. And next to my brother's name, I drew HANDCUFFS and MONEY!
The best part is: I got an A on my autobiography, and a 110/100 on my health project (I got ten extra credit points for using pictures, which are also pretty amusing).
I took these artifacts home with me, so if you feel like perusing my former self, just ask me. I'll be glad to share.

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1 Comments:
At 8:43 PM,
Michael said…
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