The person who spit on me was a juvenille miscreant on the Green Line.
Let me start from the beginning. It was a normal enough morning - I got up, ate breakfast, showered, finished packing, and decided to make a batch of brownies for my trip to Chicago with Erin, her brother, and his hetero-life-mate, Brad. Unfortunately, Chris and Brad were so rude to Erin and I that within the first five minutes of the trip, I had decided not to give them any brownies. They represent all that is wrong with freshmen.
Long story short, the trip was mostly pleasant and uneventful, except for some competing musical selections - the car stereo competed with Brad's laptop and Chris' portable CD player, but the car stereo won. Erin and I also sang at the top of our lungs, despite Chris' claims that we had "no right to sing." Erin got me to the train station, and the Metro train got me to Gabel at Union Station. He was surprised but pleased that I arrived carrying a tray of brownies and a spatula. (I also had oven mitts, concealed in my coat.)
We got on the El. We nuzzled. We changed trains at Roosevelt. Then, it began. A group of loud teenagers started hassling us. They asked for, then demanded brownies. They leaned over Gabel to reach for the brownies, which I moved. We kept stoic faces as the train pulled into our stop, not responding to their calling me a fat cow and asking me if I was going to eat all the brownies myself. One of them was wearing his pants around his ankles. I was relieved to get off the train and was about to relax, when one of them leaned out the open doors as we passed and spit at me. Then he yelled, "No one's going to eat those now."
I realized that bringing baked goods onto public transportation might elicit strange responses, but this was not one I imagined.
I wish I could go back in time, find their parents, smack them in the faces and say, "No! Use a condom!"
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