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Commencement
Saturday, May 20, 2006 @ 5:02 PM
I just got back from graduation.
I had been expecting a fairly boring, fairly empty ritual. I was pretty much ready to go through the motions, pose for pictures, and never think about the experience again.
In some ways, I was right. It was weird to mill around in the room with the College of Fine Arts graduates and realize that I didn't have one close friend there. There were some aquaintances, several people I like and admire, and even someone I used to be close to... but all in all, it was a glaring reminder of what a peripheral member of the theatre department I was. I never auditioned at general's. I never took a technical position except for practicum credit. I never directed a single show at ISU. Every meaningful thing I did in college, I did completely without university sanction, permission, or acknowledgement.
On the other hand, I realized that I have had some very special professors in the department. Most of them made me crazy at some point, but looking back, I feel really affectionate towards my profs, particularly Sandi, Cyndee, Deb and Liz.
But my most emotional moment, my moment of insight and clarity, was when my mom handed my my diploma case, and hugged me, and said, "You were with me, 22 years ago, when I was where you are. You were with me then, and today I get to be here with you."
When my mother graduated from ISU... she was four months pregnant with me.
And I realized - I was born to go to ISU. It wasn't a tragedy that I went to this third tier, utterly prestige-free public university. It wasn't a mistake, a fluke, an accident. It was my destiny. No matter how hard I fought it, it was meant to be.
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