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Saturday, May 26, 2007 @ 11:29 PM

I just watched the end of "Six Feet Under." So, I'm thinking about death. In a completely neutral way. Just like Dietrich's philosophy class. I'm not wishing I was dead, or fearing my death, I'm just contemplating my mortality.

Just so you all know. I want to be cremated. I would like my vital organs to be donated, but not my eyes. I know I'll be dead, but still, I can't get past the creepiness. I would prefer for there not to be a viewing, and I would prefer not to be embalmed prior to the cremation. The details of the service I will leave up to my loved ones, since it will really be for them, not for me. I would only ask that the service not involve, in any way, any religious or spiritual content of any kind. If possible, someone should talk about how they were always secretly in love with me. Someone else should say that I was the most talented person they'd ever known in real life. No one should say that I was kind. Not because I'm not kind - I don't know if I am, particularly kind or not, who am I to judge? - but because I think that's something people say when they can't think of anything else to say about someone. (Think about it, it's true. When you can't think of anything good to say about someone, you say that they're nice. At least, I do.)

If I died tonight, I would want the money from the play sales to go to Josh, obviously. All the money in the ISU Credit Union account would be his. The rest of my money can go to my mom. I would want my possessions to be given to my brother, except for my books (he doesn't read), which should go to Michelle, and my movies (he wouldn't want them), they can go to Erin. My notebooks and all my writings should go to Megan Dougherty, with the expectation that she makes the collection available to anyone who wants to read it. And, of course, everyone should take back anything I've borrowed from them over the years and forgotten to return, or any gifts they have given me that they would like back.

I just wanted to document these thoughts somewhere accessible. Sorry for being so morbid, I hope it doesn't upset anyone. Good night.


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