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Friday, August 03, 2007 @ 4:25 AM

I am so fucking lonely. It feels like a big rock, always pressing down on my chest.

Three people called me today, but I was in the middle of sleeping so I didn't answer the phone. I woke up and went to work. By the time work was chill enough for me to make phone calls, it was 2am. I will try to call them tomorrow.

As I feared, my schedule abruptly changed for this week - I'm working tomorrow (aka later today), Saturday, then Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. So if I do go to NY this week, I can't get a ride back on Thursday, I'd have to ride the bus... I'd be out an extra $40. I could try for next week. But I think I'm going to be stuck with this schedule for a while. And I have to see a friendly face soon before my lungs collapse.


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