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Thursday, January 31, 2008 @ 2:44 PM
Last night I dreamed about blogging. I dreamed that I was trying to write an entry, but my keyboard wouldn't type any vowels. Or, rather, the vowels were there, but they were invisible. There was a space where the vowels were supposed to be. It was weird. (See title for example. Ten points to whoever figures out what it means and comments.)
Last night started out weird (see below re: firing), and then got weirder. I got home and Amanda was sleeping. So we talked, but she was kind of asleep and didn't remember much about it this morning. I was playing on my computer when I heard a squeaky noise in the living room and saw Ms. Tallulah Mae playing around and chasing something. I looked over to see what she was playing with - and it was a mouse. Not a mouse toy filled with catnip, an actual, living, squeaking mouse. I screamed and jumped on top of my chair and Amanda was like, "Kellie, what the fuck?" She was not troubled by the presence of a stray rodent mere inches from her sleeping body, and proceeded to be pretty annoyed with my fear.
Now, I'm not normally afraid of mice. I like to look at them in the pet store. I had several mice, guinea pigs, hamsters, various rodents, growing up. (Including Kaiser Sose, who I still have warm fuzzy feelings for.) But to see one in your apartment in the middle of the night is a whole different thing. It was very startling.
In all likelihood, the mouse probably ran out the door once I distracted the cat by screaming, never to return. It probably went and told all its mousy friends about its big adventure being chased by a fierce domesticated hunter and screamed at by a pathetic 24-year-old. I know this is the most likely scenario. Nonetheless, my panic required me to barricade my door, change out of my pajamas into combat wear (jeans and full-length sweatshirt), put on socks, and lay in bed, with the lights on, whispering to myself, "It's more afraid of you than you are of it. It's more afraid of you than you are of it," until five in the morning. It's not like I think the mouse was likely to attack me, eat my face, give me rabies, etc. But once I've been startled like that, it's impossible to shake.
Then Amanda got up this morning, we had another conversation where one of us was asleep (this time it was me) and she left for the city, to visit an old friend. I walked through the apartment carefully inspecting corners and yelling, "If there are any mice, we have a cat here who is theoretically capable of killing you."
Worse before it gets better...
I got fired - well, laid off - today. Mary doesn't need me to watch her kids anymore. This is kind of a mixed bag. On the one hand, the experience has been pretty much a big pointless headache nightmare ordeal. On the other hand, it was the only steady work I had going for me. I have other work, but nothing regularly scheduled. I have this really strong urge to stay up all night watching "Dexter." But maybe that would be counterproductive...
He likes things that are pink.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008 @ 12:11 AM
So, Rich really came through for me and gave me a ride to and from my baby-sitting gig. I thought about gone to mom's for the weekend, and probably should have, but I didn't.
Tonight I had this conversation:
9-year old girl: "Is Amanda coming over?"
Kellie: "I don't know, she had to work today."
3-year old boy: "Why?"
Kellie: "Because she has a new job."
9-year old girl: "She does?"
Kellie: "Yes."
3-year old boy: "Is it pink?"
Kellie: "What?"
3-year old boy: "Is her job pink?"
Then I tried to explain to a three-year-old that jobs, in general, are not pink. Then I realized that Amanda has synesthesia, so maybe her job is pink. Or yellow. I will have to ask her when she's awake. She doesn't really answer questions while sleeping. In general.
Tallulah is going stark raving mad right now. She's running around the apartment crashing into things, knocking things over... I think she might have OD'd on catnip.
These are some inexplicable cravings I had today (without any chemical assistance of any kind, thanks):
* A sudden desire to watch the director's commentary on "Mallrats."
* A bizarre wish to drink several pina coladas.
* The intense need to play The Sims and bring order to my chaos-filled world.
* A bittersweet lust for Giordano's deep dish pepperoni pizza.
Still sick and tired
Friday, January 25, 2008 @ 1:05 PM
I've been trying to think of something to write. There just isn't much to say. Amanda seems to be having a good time at her new job, so far the orientation process has been reassuring. She's even met some friendly people. I, on the other hand, have been trying in vain to increase my income. My brain is still dripping out my nose.
I'm baby-sitting tonight, but only for an hour. I'll be lucky if they pay me enough to cover cab fare there and back. I'm going to try to beg Rich to drive me or loan me his car, but I don't expect that to work. I will probably have to take a $10.50 cab ride there, take a $10.50 cab ride home, and get paid $10-20. If I were properly assertive, I would say, "You have to reimburse me for cab fare! That was the deal! You owe me $10 for baby-sitting and $21 in cab fare, that's $31." But I am a spineless doormat.
I need a real job.
On Children
Tuesday, January 22, 2008 @ 1:19 AM
Tomorrow I get to baby-sit for an adorable 18-month old and her precocious, independent, six-year-old brother who is awesome. They are a joy to spend time with. The little girl keeps me on my toes, since she's at that phase where she wants to get into everything, but she is so freaking cute - she exhausts me, but she never annoys me. And I could kidnap the boy. He is truly my favorite six year old ever. I'm not sure what his parents are doing right, but let's hope they keep doing it when their kids enter those awkward teen years.
Amanda is back, and starts her new job early tomorrow morning. I'm still poor and sick and fantasizing about running away to Spain, but I'm feeling strangely optimistic at this particular moment. It must be the yoga.
Shenanigans
Sunday, January 20, 2008 @ 4:22 PM
I saw Juno yesterday and it was fantastic. I laughed so hard at times that other theatre patrons turned around in their seats to look at me. (This is rarer than some of you might think.) The writing was amazing and witty, but dark, and I just adored Juno and Bleeker. I loved her dad and step-mom. I even loved Leah a little bit. I loved the music, too. And I really, really loved the ending. I was worried they might take the easy way out, the far-too-common, far-too-dumb, "Babies solve everything!1!" ending, but they didn't, and I was tremendously pleased.
I'm still sick, but my mom brought me cookies and bought me food, so I'm mostly a happy Kellie, even if I can't breathe properly.
We hate it when our friends become successful
Tuesday, January 15, 2008 @ 5:43 PM
Woke up pretty sick today. Nasty cold. Not fun. I listened to Reel Big Fish and that helped a little. Amanda's out buying groceries right now, but I'm not allowed to buy any more food until I finish eating the food I have in the apartment. I'm trying to decide if I feel up to doing anything productive, or if I'm too sick and should just read and go to sleep early. Baby-sitting tomorrow, as far as I know. Also baby-sitting Thursday. Maybe on Friday I will get something accomplished.
Day Off
Monday, January 14, 2008 @ 7:34 PM
My employer was sick and decided not to work today, so I didn't have to baby-sit tonight. I tried to use the time in a semi-productive manner, and typed up a bunch of old writings and then ended up submitting "JSTMYN" to this year's Heartland Theatre contest. This year's setting is a coffee shop. And I just thought, "Well, I already wrote that play..." Besides, the deadline is February 1st, so it was unlikely that I was going to be able to write a new ten-minute play between now and then... If I don't end up working on Wednesday, I won't know what to do with myself.
High School Comedy
Sunday, January 13, 2008 @ 11:24 AM
Baby-sitting yesterday morning went great, even though I was very, very tired. I had fun with the kids and they ate lunch for me. Michael is incredibly independent, he doesn't ask much, he just likes for me to watch him play video games. Shannon and I watched him play video games, and we watched "Wonder Pets" and "Dora the Explorer" and "The Backyardigans" on Noggin, and we played with blocks, and ate bananas, and I got paid. It was fantastic. (Though now I have the "Wonder Pets" theme stuck in my head.) I came home, napped for a couple of hours, and then hung out with Amanda the rest of the day.
We went to see You Can't Take It With You at Liberty High School. The first bad sign was the fact that they call themselves the Liberty Indians. But they had a cute little auditorium with red curtains. Their director... probably had no training whatsoever in directing. Or theatre of any kind. Or public speaking. The set was nice. The kid who played the grandfather was adorable, and the actor playing Penny did a nice job as well. The romantic leads were incredibly boring. The mics were a disaster. And Donald was a white kid who played his role like a black stereotype. He was a one-man minstrel show. It was really offensive. And not remotely funny. Amanda suggested that maybe it was supposed to be an Inbred Southerner stereotype... which would be less racist but still, not remotely funny.
All in all, I had a nice time. It brought back lots of fond memories about the U-High production. (Andrew Hesse was the grandfather, Allison Borst was Penny, Josh was Paul, Allissa played Essie, Jonathan played Ed, Zach Ploense was Mr. DePinna, Megan the Red played Reba, Zeke played Donald, Becky Goodrich was Alice, Rob Turner was Tony Kirby, Kathryn Brown and Adam Bruss played his parents, Doug Borst was a brilliant Kolenkov and stole the show, Libby Kalmbach was Olga, Melanie Snow was the drunk Miss Wellington, and David Nolan was the main G-Man. See, I remember it like it was yesterday.) Enough time has passed so that making Rob Turner bleed is finally funny.
And even though the show was, all in all, pretty awful, there were some truly funny moments, and at least I got out of the house.
Alarming New Possibilities
Saturday, January 12, 2008 @ 6:44 AM
Yesterday Amanda wanted to go buy our cat some new toys, so we went to the pet store. I thought we could take a shortcut through an old driveway, but we ended up wandering around in the woods for like, an hour. Then when we found houses, we didn't really know where we were. We happened to discover the local F. & A.M. Lodge - anyone know what that stands for? And a place called the Oasis. And, best of all, the S & M Servicenter. Here we thought we lived in this sleepy little town, but it turns out, there's an S & M Servicenter not ten blocks from us. With Ultra Lube. Go figure.
Ordinarily, I would not be awake this early on a Saturday, but I'm baby-sitting this morning. I'm getting picked up in a few minutes. When I get home I might sleep for another six hours. I can't rule it out.
Nothing. Remotely. Interesting.
Friday, January 11, 2008 @ 10:19 AM
I had a really hard time getting to sleep last night. Really hard. I'm only tired when I'm trying to get up, I'm never tired when it's time to go to sleep. Tomorrow I have to be up at 7am to baby-sit in the morning, and I'm going to be exhausted. And then I'll be chasing around a toddler for four hours. So by the time I get home, I might not have the energy to hold my head up.
I watched Psycho with Amanda. She had never seen it, but pretty much knew the plot, since it's kind of part of everyone's cultural lexicon at this point. Like Citizen Kane. You don't need to have seen it to know that rosebud is a sled. It wasn't as good as I remember. I mean, obviously it was revolutionary in its day, but I remember watching it in high school and finding it suspenseful. It might be because Amanda and I were making fun of everyone... that might have undermined the suspense factor somewhat.
Last night we watched Little Miss Sunshine. I hadn't seen it since the theatres, so it was interesting to see it for a second time. I love Steve Carrell. I love Duane. I love Olive. I love the grandfather. I love Kirby. I hate, hate, hate Greg Kinnear's character. The pageant announcer is so profoundly creepy that I had to avert my eyes whenever he came onscreen. Amanda told me there are at least four alternate endings. Because they didn't know how to the hell to end that movie.
My whole agenda for today is going to the post office to pick up a package. That's seriously my entire "to do" list for today. It's nice to have a day off, sure, but... yeesh. I need more reason than that to leave the apartment on a cold day. I told myself I was going to spend the day typing up old crap from notebooks. I have part of a play written in a notebook that I never finished or bothered to type, and I hope to someday finish it, but it's not going to be today. The weird thing is that I never mind typing up monologues from other people's plays for the database, but I have such a strong objection to sitting here and typing up my own work right now. It just seems like the most boring task in the world... Is this a bad sign?
Tuesday, January 08, 2008 @ 5:36 PM
My cat reminds me of Chelsea. You hang out with her and 24 hours later you ask yourself, "Where did the time go?" She feels the need to interfere with whatever you happen to be doing. She's on my lap right now, purring and occasionally licking my elbows. It's fairly distracting. Also, cat's tongues are like sandpaper.
There's not much to report. I'm still baby-sitting for slave wages, but I've also added new clients to my schedule, who actually pay me in real money. And the kids are much better behaved, too. I'd like to phase out the old clients and work more often for the new clients, but we'll have to see how it goes. As it is, if I get my check from DCFS in time to pay rent, I'll be a happy, or at least not homeless, Kellie.
I've been sleeping way too much lately. I've been feeling exhausted pretty much 24/7, and my mind has been in kind of a fog. I'm working, but I'm not getting much done in my downtime. (The cat is now attempting to climb on the keyboard and play with the keys, so I keep having to re-position her and hit backspace.)
Amanda passed her nursing test - I knew she would - and she said she was probably coming home today. She's not here yet, so maybe she'll come tomorrow instead. I'm not sure when she starts her new job, I suppose they'll make her do all manner of orientation first.
I'm still trying to do edits on Dogface, but I'm feeling really stuck. My next play is also kicking around in my brain, waiting to be written. It's going to be a full-length, and I'm pretty sure Richard Fisher's Funeral is going to be one of the scenes in it. There's going to be a monologue from the dead man (which is written already), scenes between Drew and her mother... possibly some scenes between Drew and her psychologist... possibly some scenes that involve her brother...
People write to me pretty often to ask if my plays have been published or not. They have school assignments or competitions or other things that they have to use published plays for. And today I started to wonder, how hard is it to start your own publishing company? I could say that These Aren't My Shoes Productions is also a publishing house, since we do provide and sell manuscripts... Is that really any different than using an third party for on-demand self-publishing? If I did go through something like Create Space, would I then be able to say my plays were "published"? Seems like a gray area. Speaking of publishing, Simple Request, Complex Refusal is up at Pens on Fire.
I miss having a social life. I don't think it's possible to have one in Sullivan County.
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