Call me KP
facebook
last.fm
goodreads
flickr
del.icio.us
Favorite Books
Favorite Music
Favorite Movies
CURRENTLY
FEELING...
READING...
Night Falls Fast by Kay Redfield Jamison
WRITING...
Book & Music Reviews
LISTENING...
Stew
WATCHING...
Red Dwarf
PLAYING...
Fallout 3
WANTING...
Presents
Neither Here Nor There
Monday, June 01, 2009 @ 9:32 PM
Had a pretty good, pretty uneventful weekend. My symptoms were pretty mild both days, and today as well. I had my online test, which was a source of a completely reasonable amount of anxiety, but I'm sure I did fine. I'm starting to get somewhere with my attempts to get involved in theatre and volunteering, which is going to be good for me.
I went to the DBSA support group tonight, and a woman there said some really upsetting things. I actually confronted her, sort of, and even though nothing came of it and the situation was in no way resolved, I was still proud of myself for saying something instead of sitting there quietly biting my tongue and hating myself, which I think by now everyone knows is my usual M.O.
It just bothers me when people oversimplify depression and suicidal feelings. It's just so judgmental and condescending to say that people attempt suicide for attention or to get revenge. That is probably a component for some, but it's a lot more complex than that. It drives me crazy when people say that a suicide attempt is a "cry for help," and dismiss all of their symptoms and suffering so casually. As though a cry for help is a reason to deny help. As though the only people worthy of treatment are those who are already dead. It's not really fair to say that "If someone is really suicidal, they wouldn't talk about it, they would just do it and get it over with."
Suicidal impulses occur on a continuum, it's not really accurate to describe someone as "suicidal" or "not suicidal," it's not really a binary state, it's a matter of degrees. Even if suicide is just an impulse, and not a definite course of action, it is still a sign that something very serious is wrong. Whether or not a person acts on their suicidal thoughts and feelings is not an absolute guide to the degree of their suffering.
There will always be some degree of ambivalence - if for no other reason, then because instinct is a strong force, a force that wants to keep existing. It's like I wrote in Like Dreaming, Backwards - "Your physical drive to live can undermine your mind's desire to die. Your instincts to breathe are hard to overcome. You can't bear another second of misery - but your heart just refuses to stop beating. It has some nerve."
archives / / blogger
Content & Design (c) 2000-2009 KP
Blog: Never Better writing, music, theatre
FRIENDS
moonshine
your money's worth
chelsibacy
vasconia
no escape
muffins
POLITICS
feministing
gay rights watch
safer
bitch magazine
COMICS
penny arcade
ctrl+alt+del
questionable
xkcd
sad children
3ps
achewood
softer world
FUNDRAISING
AcaDemon
My Essays
Alibris
Shutterfly
Blue Dolphin
Overstock
Apple iTunes
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home