September 2007
July 2007
June 2007
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April 2007
March 2007
January 2007
December 2006
October 2006
September 2006
August 2006
July 2006
June 2006
May 2006
November 2005
July 2005
March 2005
November 2004
July 2004
June 2004
May 2004
April 2004
March 2004
February 2004
January 2004
December 2003
November 2003
October 2003
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August 2003
July 2003
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May 2003
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January 2003
December 2002
November 2002
October 2002
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August 2002
July 2002
June 2002
May 2002
April 2002
March 2002
February 2002
January 2002
December 2001
November 2001
October 2001
September 2001
August 2001
July 2001
June 2001
1999-2001
"I think she obviously has some issues, dude." -Ryan Donovan
"I'M LOUD!"
"And I'M not wearing any PANTS." -Eric and Dan.
"Just mah boobs." -Michelle (explaining that Nate doesn't own her entire chest, only part - um... parts - of it. By the way, I own 'chelle's shins - which is fun to say three times fast. 'chelle's shins 'chelle's shins 'chelle's shins... see?)
"It took you forever to bring me a picture of my baby." -Rob, to Steph.
"Actually, it's my baby anyway." -Eric (when told about the quote above).
"I should rob that bank. I'd be like, 'excuse me, I really hate to do this but give me your money... yeah, you can just stick it in my hat! Thanks!'" -Stephanie, planning a crime spree and wearing Dan's hat.
"But Cori bought you the gift of sex appeal." -Kellie, to Nate.
"Best $1.50 I ever spent." -Nate, talking about phermone-induced future sex.
"Mexican whore!"
"Crack-whore-hippie!" -Dan and Megan D.
"Be quiet you guys. People are trying to be bitchy - er, sleep!" -Nate.
"I decided this morning that I am the river of death." -Megan Hannah.
"Your shake might take a little bit because there's only one guy working here today and he's having LSD flashbacks. Right now he thinks he's a bumblebee. Soo I say, 'Yes, you're a very pretty bee, now go make me a shake.'" -Nate, repeating what a Ritazza cashier once told him.
"Are you wearing Elvis pants?"
"What?"
"I mean, do you still have your shoes on?" -Stephanie (asleep) and Kellie.
"Letcherous old sleeping Mexican noodle monkey!" -Nate (To Mischelle).
"Don't look at me!"
"You've got jeans on!"
"But they're not buttoned!" -Megan D. and Nate.
(Singing) "My ass looks like a watermelon." -Stephanie.
"I do not like this car, Sam I Am!" -Dan.
"I wish I could be in a relationship where I didn't have to worry about my girlfriend pulling my pants down all the time." -Justin.
"I can see myself in your underwear!" -Justin (To Cori.)
"We're learning about vaginas. When am I ever going to use that?" -Nate.
"Down with knee caps! Back to nature!" -Dan.
"I don't wanna."
"That's a first." -Kat and Eric.
"Next year I'll be eighteen, and then I won't have parents." -Kat.
"France basically lay down and took it." -Mrs. Sams-Davis.
"Down, boy!"
"We're on a table! ...Ow! Would you not do that?" -Cori and Justin.
"You don't want to feel my pubic hair, do you?" -Dan (to Twiggy Longshanks, aka Sarah Kelch.)
"What I'm waiting for is the woman that will take me out to the theatre. Ahhh. *swoon.*" -Josh.
"No, you're doing it wrong. Get down on the floor and I'll show you." -Justin.
"People are going to think that you're either blonde or stoned." -Thetard, to Matt Laesch.
"Lots of people like McDonald's in Germany because they have beer there." -Marion Sakaluk
"Jeff King: Born to kazoo." -Corey, the UU Choir Director who looks like Jesus.
"He was Jesus-ing it up." -Dan, of Corey.
"Hi-my-name-is-Dan-Oltman-and-I-would-like-some-breadsticks-and-a-medium-Mountain-Dew." -Dan.
"George Bush is a moron... he should be skinned alive, and made into a coat. An ugly coat." -Nate
"So the length of my period is pi over 2." -Sondgeroth
"Give it up, Megan, you're as flaming as your hair." -Reijo.
"Wholesome is better. It fills you up faster!" -Stephanie.
"I try to give it away, but nobody wants it." -Kat Helgeson.
"Who couldn't love something as fun as exciting as graphing?" -Allison Borst.
"I don't need food, I don't need money, I don't need entertainment, all I need is graphing." -Melissa Smith.
"I will solve your inequality, then your soul will be mine!" -Melissa Smith.
"I'm not the anti-Christ! You're the anti-Christ!" -Chase McCoy.
"Why should we settle down when we can molest Kellie?" -Allison Borst.
"I'm gonna get molested!" -Jill.
"He's gonna hurt me!"
"I'll be gentle."
"Hey, that's my line!" -Doug, David, and Kat
"Do you want the bed or the desk?"
"The bed." -David Nolan and Justin Mayo
"Fine! I'll just do it with one hand!" -Logan (taken completely out of context.)
"It's my turn to say penis as much as I want!" -Zach Ploense
"She could unleash her carnivorous hair and then it would eat you." -Allison (explaining why you should never refuse to do Megan H.'s bidding.)
"Mrs. Vercler is a crackhead." -Boy in Math Class
"Ask me something."
"Why?"
"Nick Africano!" -Dan and Kellie
"...like a necklace of fiascos." -Babelfish Translator
"They use way too many commas."
"Yeah, it's like, comma comma comma comma comma-"
"Chameleon!" -Kellie & Justin
"Where's the fat man? I thought he was going to be here today?" -Megan the Red, talking about Mr. Sondgeroth, one day when he was late as usual.
"You should have come! We had a peanut butter orgy!"
"Cool. Was your brother there? ...Woah! That's not what I meant!!!" -Kellie & Nate
"Yeah, tell me that when you can have a kid, moron! Let's see your goddamn ovaries, Chase!" -Kellie, responding to the comment, "Abortion is a stupid issue."
"I'd rather wear a uniform than be turned into a baby factory." -Jessica Rubenacker, expressing her preference for Good vs. Bad Wicked Evil (translation - Gore vs. Bush)
"I'm tired, I'm not ready for my band play-off, I didn't turn in my physics lab, and my girlfriend's in jail!" -Justin
"It's a sad world when you have to like guys to get girls." -Nate
"I AM SO INCREDIBLY HERE!" -Megan the Red
"We're looking for a freshman to roast and eat." -Allison
"He's a fugitive of Ewok Justice!" -Dan
"Neal, Andrea and Mary gang-raping me...Now there's something you don't see every day." -Logan
"My cat has puked up better things than the FIRST program." -Jason Bower (aka Cleante the Mighty)
"If I don't get into Julliard, AND I WILL..." -Kathryn Brown
"I am Cleante the Mighty, and this is my Mighty Minty Gum. It's Mighty Minty." -Cleante the Mighty (aka Jason Bower)
"Notice the cleavage." -Mrs. Thetard
"My dad'll be like, 'Liz! You look like you actually have breasts!'" -Liz Holt
"I'll be back right. Right back. Shut up." -Nate
"I like Steven, but he's got the personality of a dead tree." -Brent
"Football players and their little skanky whore friends." - David Foster
"There's also a leprechaun. He lives under the desk. Careful, or you'll wake him up and he'll be grumpy." -Eric (When asked if there were juniors in our Psychology class)
"Whenever I see her, I feel violent." -David Foster (Speaking of Megan Tishhauser)
"Lousy American Indians!" -Thetard
"What is the essence of chairness?" -Mr. Neuleib (Mocking philosophy. Thanks Dan.)
"I'm tired."
"I'm sexually frustrated." -Kellie and Kat
"Oh, no! He's staring at my breasts!" -Logan (Mocking some anime)
"He is an ugly little child." -Rob Carroll (Of Andrew Schini)
(Whilst groping around in a darkened car.) "Is that yours or is it mine?" -Eric
"You let the dogs out? ...You! You!..." -Justin
"It's, like, sex." -Kurt
"That which does not kill me makes me...bitter." -Kellie
"I'm in your debt."
(Suggestively) "We can arrange that later."
"And you won't let me say 'clumsy slut'?!?!?" -Kathryn Brown, Justin Palm, & Andrew Hesse
(Of Cori) "She's going to bite his @$$ off!"
(Of Kellie) "She's writing that down!" -Dan and Cori
"Bisexuals are just greedy." -Justin
"Bitchery-dingo!" -Dan
"I would have been rolling in CABBAGE!" -Justin (He claims to have said, "cash.")
"Only a few people are allowed to reach up my pants and you're not quite one of them." -Kat (to Big Toe.)
"I own the jail...I am the warden!" (A Monopoly card made by Cori and read by Dan.)
"Stop touching Justin's balls!"
"There's only one!" -T.J. and Justin
"Well...everything happens for a reason, right?"
"No!" -Kellie and Logan
"Oooh! Headlights!" -Logan
"I wanted to be a cheerleader someday..." -Logan
"Nobody ever suspects the cart boy!" -Eric
"Hey! I braided my hair!" -Logan
"I'd better get in line before the freshmen figure out how." -Talia
"His entire family is one continuous bitch." -Justin
"d00d! I could live off my sperm!" -Josh.
"Once you realize that everything you own is an animate object, you'll understand." -Logan
"Working on Never Better? I think you need a break. Honsetly, Never Better's never been better." -Ryan Donovan (I was kind of waiting for someone to say something like that.)
"They have those...what are they called...? DAMN COPS I HATE THEM!" -Cori
"It's okay, we're all girls here...me and my fake penis - ARRRRRGGGGHHHH!" -Eric
"One of these days I'm going to lick your tongue." -Cori (To Justin)
"Stop blowing me!" -Justin
Kapouwy: so am i off the cliff or what?
kellie rai: no, she's saying she'd sleep with you.
Kapouwy: well then yea! (Talking about something Cori said)
"Were you guys at Geoff's house?"
"Is he dead?" -Kellie & Josh
(Lamenting being the only guy at rehearsal) "Where's my male support?"
(Oh? Derek?) "He's baby-sitting." -Justin and Kellie
"The rules are: No dating Jeff, and no eating me." -Justin (Explaining the rules of his & Cori's relationship.)
kellie rai: You're a bitch, Stick.
The White Stick: Eat me.
kellie rai: No thanks!!!
The White Stick: Fine.
The White Stick: I'll have Todd do it!
(In the theatre watching Scary Movie, right before the film started, right after the unusually crappy previews.)
"Wow, based on the previews, this movie's going to suck!"
"Psspht! Based on this movie, this movie's going to suck!" -Two Guys, the second of whom had seen Scary Movie before.
Kapouwy: We also need to sneak into Scary Movie
Kapouwy: I so need to see it
kellie rai: I want to see it too. Logan saw it without me, and so did Cori & Justin, while I was camping last weekend.
Kapouwy: You were camping
Kapouwy: Just[in] saw an r movie
Kapouwy: I don't know which is more shocking...
The White Stick: Fuck white out!
kellie rai: Huh? How would that work? =)
"Justin! Hands off!" -Cori
"Hey! It's Strawberry Passion Awareness Week!" -Derek (Mocking Fruitopia.)
"He really likes my ass, that's why he rides it so much..." -Stephanie (RE: Why Derek always tailgates her. In his car, you perverts.)
"Take off your clothes." -Jessica Gleason (To Derek.)
"Well, I don't want to lick anyone's teeth so I guess I'll pick Truth." -Jessica Gleason
"Is this your butt?"
"Yes." -Big Toe & Stephanie
"YES! YES! I enjoyed that MUCH more than I should have!" -Josh (Thank you, Kat)
"I called her a trifling bitch..." -Dan
"Did Todd ever tell you why our dating is a sign of the impending apocalypse?" -Logan
"I don't need heroin to live a happy life! I've been clean for days now!" -Josh
"I live to be your bitch." -Josh
"You're partial...Unless...Did she take off your socks, too?" -Kellie
"Think unpregnant thoughts." -Dan
"Does that mean I should make it quick?" -Logan
"I was distracted!"
"OF COURSE YOU WERE!" -Kellie & Justin
"Well then, I'll just slap you!" -Justin (To Cori)
"Are you all night?" -Ryan ("Night." Not "Right." "Night.")
"I'm really a lesbian trapped in a man's body." -Justin
"I need to cool down, and I can't take off my pants." -Justin
"What do you want me to do about it? I can't take off my pants!" -Justin
"What time is it...? AUGH!"
"Justin's silly like that." -Justin & Cori
"Be careful today, there are band people all over the place." -Kellie's Mom
"Is there some other way I could pay you?...That's not what I meant!!!" -Cori (To Josh, trying to save $10)
"Justin kills people..."
"With my tounge!" -Cori & Justin
"See? Derek knows I'm hot." -Stephanie
"That penis looks like a rocket." -Stephanie
"Oh! Look! There's genitalia!" -Dan
"Everyone here except Derek likes guys." -Kellie
"Goats! Baahhhh! Go eat a can!" -Josh
"Hmmm...How are you going to lose your shirt this year?"
(Whispered to Kellie:)"Freak accident involving three horny girls." -Kellie & Cori (Long story involving Justin.)
"Cori...Can I have some more testosterone, please?" -Josh
Kapouwy: (CENSORED) just started to talk to me
Kapouwy: what do i do?
kellie rai: just be cool, i guess.
comet241: @#$& her brains out
comet241: or just make chit chat
Kapouwy: what's wrong with me?
comet241: nothing Dan
comet241: you are sexy
Kapouwy: yeah and chipmunks can fly!
comet241: what?
comet241: they can?
comet241: that's sooo cool!!!
Kapouwy: yeah...this stuff just comes out of my head!
Kapouwy: or is it, stuff just comes out during head?
"Hey Justinian, how many imaginary friends of yours did I sit on?" -Dan
"Steph, it's your line."
"Where are we?"
"Well, you see...we're in a play, called Bang Bang You're Dead..." -Cori, Stephanie, and Justin
"We are talking right now, and we are not in a relationship!" -Josh (To Eric)
"Erection!"
"Augh..." -Eric & Emily Baldoni
"I have to talk to him???" -Emily Riehl (RE: Eric.)
"Emily [Riehl], you've gone from hooch to homosexual in a mere 26 hours..." - Josh
"Hmm...who did I sleep with last time?" -Cori
"Here, hold my purse." -Justin (Mocking Derek.)
"Hmm...Who to $%@# and who to chuck?" -Kellie (Rhyming while comtemplating a Cliff Game decision.)
"I wouldn't kill you."
"No, I know you wouldn't actually kill me. I said you might want to."
"No I wouldn't..."
"If you actually killed me, we'd have to do a show about you."
"Huh?"
"It'd be, 'Bang Bang, The Stick is Dead.'" -Stephanie and The Stick
"Homewrecker!" -Kellie (To Cori)
"I will become an abusive husband like that!" -Justin (To his B.B.Y.D. wife, Michelle)
"Let me see! Cool! I never got one of those!" -Big Toe (To Derek, RE: Derek's parole card.)
"I can drive...I just need a little more practice more with the stick shift..."
"Augh! Metaphors!"
"That's not funny."
"Oh, sure it is!" -Kellie & Kat
"What can I say? She, quote, "'riehled' me in."" -Justin (Talking about someone who he had a crush on freshman year.)
"Your hair was a different color the last time I saw you..."
"He's wearing a hat..."
"You'll have to excuse Kirsten; she's on crack." -Kirsten, Ryan, Kellie (The boy in the hat was my brother Will.)
"77% of people at this party agree that Emily [Riehl] here is a hooch." -Kirsten
"Ben Affleck has no anus." -Will Powell
"To #$@% or not to #$@%?" -Cori
"I don't know if I want to do Stick..."
"No one wants you to do Stick, I just want you to audition for his play..." -Cori (Trailing off without saying, "...& Co. Productions.") & Kellie (Taking advantage of the situation)
"I'll have to remove one of your balls."
"Aw..."
"That's what you get for scratching." -Two people playing billiards.
"I'll make sure all my bras are in a safe place!" -Justin
"Why would the Air Force want us?" -Kellie
"Your brother's a penis." -Mike Manjarrez (To Kellie)
"Don't fear the bagel." -Nikita
"There is way too much of my shirt on this video!" -Kellie
"You're a rock. In fact, you're the Rock of Gibralter." -Doug
"I was afraid that the bagel would burn me!" -Andrew
"The difference is Prozac." -Kellie
"Just wait until I write my manifesto..." -Nikita
"What did you say?"
"I said I want to know more about Rogaine." -Ives & Neel
"Melissa glued her fingers together." -Andrew
"Justin's so...brooding. No, not you. The other one. Guess what? Your name isn't Justin anymore. It's Phillipe." -Kellie
"Chapter 14...page...whatever..." -Mrs. Ives
"I've lost...something..." -Sra. Arnold
"I'm a blind man." -Mrs. Thetard
"I don't need your help messing me up." -Ives
"Thanks, Steve, now my @$$ hurts!" -Josh
"Maria and David [Foster] would be going out if he weren't chasing the other birds." -Doug
"No fighting! You'll ruin the aura of my basement!" -Big Toe
"#$@% THE WORLD...Oh, wait, then I'd be Alissa!" -Lottie
"Hey everyone! Look at my cleavage!" -Eric
"I'd like to congratulate you on being the only candidate to use the microphone correctly." -Doug
"I hate phone sex...The holes...the holes...AUGH!!!!!!!!!!" -Jonathan
"Hey, she grabbed me first! I just grabbed back.!" -Ryan Rappa
(To Emily)"One of these days you're going to wake up with a sore @$$."
"That has so many meanings!" -Steve BigToe & Eric Sor@$$.
"I am a pig. He is a pig. We are warthogs on the Savannah." -Aaron Fleisher
"Everything that's gone wrong in my life over the past three years has been because of e-mail." -Justin
"Why, because you already dress like a closet homosexual?" -Kellie (to Eric.)
"That is a sexy font." -Melissa Smith (of Garamond)
"You show me yours, I'll show you mine." -Mrs. Ives (To Nikita)
"Yes, I'm one of those people." -Mrs. Ives
"She wants me to be completely asexual!"
"Well, you're off to a pretty good start, don'tcha think?" -Ryan & Kellie
"I believe Neel, because he's funny and Kyle's not." -Nikita
"My hand was raised the entire time, but...it was weighted down by bad jokes and what-not." -Leo
"Racist Nazi bastard!" -Nikita to Ryan Comfort (on a daily basis.)
"Doug gets along with everyone."
"That's 'cause Doug is a tool." -Mrs. Ives and Nikita
"Ha! Even Kyle says your joke is lame, Neel. Go home and cry!" -Nikita
"Welcome to the exciting world of viscocity!" -John Wey
"Maybe 'cause you ate it Kyle!" -Nikita
"Eric is such a sexy bitch." -Doug
"Mrs. Ives doesn't use soap and she's dirty." -Neel
"We need more people to rise up against Ann Taulbee." -Neel
"I will always support Taulbee!"
"And I will always support soap!" -Emily Riehl and Nikita
"Do you think I'm sorry? No!!!" -Mrs. Ives
"Ann sure is cool with her Jesus jokes..." -Nikita
"Andrew?"
"I was thinking about pancakes..." -Mrs. Ives & Andrew Hesse
"Mercury atoms like each other very very much." -Mrs. Ives
"How much does liquid nitrogen cost?" -Neel Naik
"Mmmm...pancakes!" -Andrew Hesse
"I'm not even going to talk!"
"Good!" -Nikita and Ives
"So, you're vibrating..." -Ives
"Why put logistics into an analogy?" -Nikita
"The elevator in Bone Student Center is far more alluring." -Emily Baldoni
"You can't get a hotel room unless you're like 21...How wrong is that? You can drive, you can smoke, you can have sex...legally...but you've got nowhere to do it!!!"
"Well, if you're 18 most likely you have a car..." -Josh & Kellie
"Ooooo, a threesome! Somethin' freaky's always happening in Chemistry." -Melissa
"Now Eric, you've got to let me do my thing!" -Mrs. Ives
"How the $%#@ did you get a fan club???" -Kellie (to Doug)
"Don't worry, we have some good touchy-feely stuff coming up." -Kate Jordan.
"Justin Trana...now he has some pretty knees!" -Melissa
"Yeah, but this is David [Nolan], and that's you. David wouldn't hurt a fly and you might rip its wings off for kicks." -Josh (to Kat.)
"I have formulated a plan, and it involves Josh." -David Nolan
"I feel fat." -Josh
"What does it matter? You're lying to us anyway!" -Emily Riehl (to Mrs. Ives, during a discussion of whether or not significant digits are actually significant.
"She needs help." -Stick (Of Kellie)
"Again, everyone's right...except Neel." -Mrs. Ives
"It's a trick question! There are no balloons!" -Eric
"Charles Wallace lifted his hand and exposed-"
"Himself!" -Liz and Josh
"Gehhmmphnnh..."
"Stop that!!!" -Josh & Kellie
"Marching band? Why yes, and I've been there." -Justin (In response to being asked if he believed in Hell.)
"It really amuses me that it's called Family Video and they have pornography mixed in with everything else." -Josh
"Well, you're smart, so I figured you'd be drawn to dumb animals...Like Todd." -Josh (To Emily [Baldoni].)
"If he plays, I'll kick him in the balls." -Stephanie (talking about her then-new-boyfriend Mike.)
"Can we stop [practicing how to tesser] now?"
"You can stop when I'm happy!"
"Olivia? Make Ryan happy."
"Liz! Don't encourage them!" -Mike Manjarrez, Ryan, Liz, & Kellie
"That's right Ryan, you are a Loser!"
"That's not what you said last night!!" -Kate & Ryan
"They're tearing out their hair and burning it." - Lindsey Sorak (Talking about Kellie & Eric)
"I sat on my ass again today, unlike yesterday." -Ryan Rappa (Being sarcastic)
"Umm...I don't know...It gets harder?" -Maria
"So are you and Mike going out now?"
"Pshhp! I don't know!!" -Kellie and Stephanie
"I buy my peanut butter by the gallon."
"Eeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwww." -Mrs. Ives and Kellie
"Do you have any green Jello?" -Josh
"I'd sleep with Zach. He's hot. He's got that tight ass..." -Eric
"Oh (bleep)...I'm wearing a dress..." -Eric
"I already know my lines...All 12 of them...(To Kellie) You have 61! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" -Lexi (Whilst on a sugarhigh.
"I'm not a sexist, I just play one in real life." -Josh
(During The Good Doctor)
"We're all going to Theatre Hell." -Kellie, Ryan, David Nolan, Doug, Eva, Allison, & Justin Mayo
(During A Wrinkle in Time)
"Oh my God...we're IN Theatre Hell!" -Kellie & David Nolan
"One more once!"
"Remind me again why that's funny?" -Ryan Rappa & Kellie
"You just don't like us 'cause we is Chinese." -Adam Bonjour
"I always get a profound sense of being after watching My So-Called Life" -Ryan Donovan
"Todd is going."
"To the Dance?"
"Yeah."
"Oh...That makes me want to go."
"That makes me want to vomit." -Allissa and Kellie
"What's his middle name? I bet it's something cute like Joshua!" -Lisa, a character in Josh's play, "Gray Matter."
"Goddammit Eric, just admit you're Mr. Sunny so we can all get on with our lives."
"It's not me!!! When you wind up dead in a ditch, don't come crying to me." -Kellie and Eric.
"I don't care about you,
You do not affect me,
I am invincible,
You will not defeat me." -A Little Song by Justin
"I'm a woman, I'm a man,
I'm a Mormon, I'm a Jew,
And if you get cast in Angels
Then you can be one too." -A Little Song by Ms. Kate Jordan
"Bag wench?"
"It's a long story."
"I figured." -Eric, Kellie and Mrs. Vaughn (a substitute teacher.)
"Kyle quiere chicos pequenos."
"What did you say?"
"I said, Kyle quiere chicos pequenos."
"What does that mean?"
"It means, Kyle likes little boys." -Leo & Mrs. Ives.
"Why are you late?"
"Well, see....I found this rock and I was trying to find the owner."
"Go to the office." -Kyle and Mrs. Ives
"I have to get my wisdom teeth out, which I've been told is no big deal. In fact, everyone's so busy convincing me how not a big a deal it is that I've started to get worried." -Ryan Donovan
"Okay, what would you do if Ives threw up on your shoes?"
"I'd kick her, then demand that she give me an 'A'." -Melissa & Kellie
"How's school going so far? That other Ryan treating you right?" -Ryan Donovan
"Here you go Melissa, I fished this out of my cleavage." -Casey Clark
"Oh my God! It's Tony Kirby!" -Some girl at Theatre Fest (Gushing over Rob Turner.)
"I want to have the anti-thesis of a SuperBowl Party."
"What? Have people over to eat green vegetables and watch romantic comedies?" -Kellie & her mom
"Why is life so complicated? Can't we just chill and listen to Dingoes At My Baby and have some fun along the way?" -Ryan Donovan.
"Just call us the Jew Wannabes." -Adam
"What a little bitch!" -Josh's mom (of Kellie, after saying goodbye to Kellie but before actually hanging up.)
"I'm going to write a song now. It's going to be called, 'Ryan Rappa Rocks the House.'" -Sarah Weiss
"How about Kosher Bacon?" -Mike Z.
"Ryan? I'm sorry I called you Tim. I know that's not your name."
"I forgive you...It just...it hurts!!!" -Kellie & Ryan Comfort.
"Someday...Someday I'm going to get to do a full-length play and get first pick of actors."
"Well, everyone should have a dream." -Kevin & Kellie
"K-Dog sold me out." -Josh
"We're starting the anti-thesis of Culture Club. We're going to call it the Creative Racism Club."
"Nikita, you're a Russian, and Ian, you're a Jew."
"So what? Hey, David [Foster]! You can be the President!" -Nikita and Kellie
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