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1999-2001
"Your baby does not come with ketchup!"
-- Amanda (or flatware, it turns out)
"You're the one who wants to have sex, not me!"
-- Amanda (to her Sims)
"I've got a question. How could spanking be fun?"
-- Victoria (age 9)
"That's the kind of horrible abusive relationship I'd LOVE to be in!"
-- Rich
"You'll totally fuck if I tell you to."
-- Kellie, (re: her Sims)
"All my friends from high school drink vitamin water now..."
-- Amanda
"You're like a weight I can't get rid of."
-- Anna, to her mother
"Come on baby, it's a small world. Let me buy you some contacts."
-- Man talking on cell phone on the bus
"Ow! My nipples!"
-- Amanda
"They walked in the door and looked at me! They didn't even look at my vagina! I had to pay $200 and I didn't even take off my pants!"
-- Amanda (of her ER visit).
"If you abuse a cat enough, it will love you forever."
"Just like French people!"
-- Rich and Kellie.
"She is a baby but I am six, so I am a GIANT compared to her!"
-- Michael (age 6), talking about his little sister.
"My mom is coming tomorrow... so if you have a chance, do you think you guys could be a little bit... less squalid?"
-- Kellie, to Amanda and Rich
"How old do you think I am?"
"Twenty."
"How old do you think Rich is?"
"Forty."
-- Amanda and Victoria (age nine).
"I'm gonna kill that bitch!"
-- Anthony (age three), while watching Harriet the Spy.
"Want to come to the bank with me?"
"No... I have a pizza in the oven. And I'm talking to two people. One of whom might kill himself."
"Oh. That's important."
"Well, sure. But not as important as the pizza, apparently, since I mentioned that first."
-- Amanda and Kellie
"Why does my finger smell like vagina? I know I washed my hands before I left work..."
-- Amanda
"Every time someone mentions eBay, I think about Chad D'Entrone's kidney."
-- Kellie
"We should take Nick to see that."
"Because he's filmy?"
"He's not filmy, but he's scripty."
"No, he is filmy. And he should take a shower."
-- Amanda and Rich
"We should have called Rich and said, Congratulations, you have been cast as Sky Masterson in Bargaining."
-- Amanda
"It's a sign!"
"The universe is telling me that I'm a dirty, dirty, dirty person."
-- Kellie and Amanda
"Those things you laugh at with your friends... aren't actually funny."
-- Rich
"Rob and Joe don't want to hang out with me."
"Have you tried telling them you don't want to jump their bones?" (Kellie smacks herself in the forehead.) "...Unless you do... Then I wouldn't say that."
-- Kellie and Sheila
"I had to stop smoking pot because I hated the hangovers."
-- Kellie's Mom
"I'm in your cul-de-sac, stealing your unsecured wi-fi."
-- Kellie
If the 'blog does not appear correctly, please try hitting "Reload" or "Refresh." Thank you. Content & Design (c) 2007 KP
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